Set approach goals (not avoidance goals). But because he had shifted his mindset and redefined what constituted failure and success, he was able to absorb the results of the experience more gracefully and with less angst than he had expected. Was there a way he might interpret it differently from the get-go and be more open to signs of success, even if they were small? Could he, for example, redefine failure as not being able to answer any of the questions posed or receiving specific negative feedback? Could he redefine success as being able to answer each question to the best of his ability and receiving no criticisms about how he interviewed?Īs it turned out, Alex did advance to the second round and was complimented on his preparedness. In coaching Alex through this approach, I encouraged him to redefine how he would view his performance in the interview. Even if his interview went flawlessly, other factors might influence the hiring committee’s decision - such as predetermined preferences on the part of board members. As he thought about his interview, he realized that his initial bar for failing the task - “not being hired for the position” - was perhaps too high given that he’d never been a CEO and had never previously tried for that top job. Let’s go back to Alex as an example of how to execute this. By framing a situation you’re dreading differently before you attempt it, you may be able to avoid some stress and anxiety. Behind many fears is worry about doing something wrong, looking foolish, or not meeting expectations - in other words, fear of failure. What can you do if you, like Alex, want to face your fear of screwing up and push beyond it to success? Here are four steps you can take: People are quick to blame themselves for failure, and companies hedge against it even if they pay lip service to the noble concept of trial and error. Despite that fact, Alex could not shake the perception that he himself had not succeeded, even though there was nothing he could have logically done to anticipate or change this outcome. As I listened to him describe the situation, it became clear that the failure was related to his company and outside industry factors, rather than to any misstep on his part. I asked what was wrong, and he explained that he felt “paralyzed” by his fear of failing at the high-stakes meeting.ĭigging deeper, I discovered that Alex’s concern about the quality of his performance stemmed from a “setback” he had experienced and internalized while working at his previous company. It was the first time he had interviewed for the C-level, and when we met, he was visibly agitated. A client (who I’ll call “Alex”) asked me to help him prepare to interview for a CEO role with a start-up.
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